


Cover Me

by hiddenforestgirl98



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Blood, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, M/M, Mutual Pining, My First Work in This Fandom, Self-Harm, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-28 09:53:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17180720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiddenforestgirl98/pseuds/hiddenforestgirl98
Summary: This wasn't supposed to happen... at least not like this.





	1. I'm Just A Ghost

     Sleep. Wake up. Write Music. Sleep. Wake up. Write music. Sleep. Wake up. Write music. Josh.

     Ah there he was, in the middle of his new daily routine for this new album when his mind was interrupted by the thought of a wide smile and warm eyes. Tyler had lost track of time yet again as he worked his tail off trying to fit words into a rhythm that was headed nowhere fast. Just as he was about to toss this lead out the window the thought of his bestfriend beating the heck out of his drums along to the heavy bass seemed to pull him out of the rut he was in. At this point though it was more of a trench, for lack of a better word. How long had he been at this? Tyler popped his knuckles and stretched his back earning a few more ridged snaps from his spine. Jeez what time was it? When was the last time he had something to eat? _"Does Redbull count as a food?"_ he thought. Tyler checked his watch and grimaced... it was four in the morning and Josh was going to be at his door step in five hours. He figured that would be enough time to make his way upstairs to bed, try and squeeze in a few hours of sleep, and possibly shower before his bandmate came home.

     Home. It had only been two months since Tyler last saw Josh but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't giddy as a school girl to see him again. Everything was warmer when he was around and Tyler didn't feel so alone with his thoughts. He truly was his bestfriend. As Tyler shuffled from his musical basement more of his joints protested in the movement.  _"I'm really getting out of shape."_ When he finally made it to his bedroom he all but belly flopped onto his mattress. "Soooo tired!" he stated to no one. This was always the hardest part of his routine; even harder than playing a rift on repeat to get it to match his lyrics. Sleep. Despite the ungodly hour he had been working at, sleep always has, and always will seem to avoid him. He used to have the comfort of other people around him on the tour bus to keep his intrusive thoughts at bay. But when night crawled around and no one was there to keep his demons from whispering to him sleep was the last thing on his mind. Tyler tossed and turned for a good two hours before he decided to give up and head to the bathroom.  _"I can at least take a shower before Josh gets here and maybe I won't look completely horrid."_ But when he looked at himself in the mirror, horrid may have been an understatement. His hair was matted and disheveled while his tan skin had somehow turned translucent. Some acne spots dotted his face from the overdose of Redbull and a few ribs where sticking out of the bottom of his chest. So he hadn't gone outside in a while, or taken a shower, or eaten a proper meal. No big deal... He huffed and turned the shower head on and let the warm water work its magic. The steam felt particularly nice on his hands that were red and calloused from plucking the strings on his instruments too much. After a thorough scrubbing with some sudsy body wash he felt like a new man ready to take on the day; or at least the remainder of the morning. He wiped some of the condensation from the mirror to get a good look at his face and applied heavy amounts of shaving cream determined to whack off his scraggly beard in an attempt to look human. However as the patchy hair got removed it only proved to show just how gaunt his face had gotten. He really did look like a ghost with his swollen eye bags to match. With a satisfied smile at his renewed babyface he made his way down to the kitchen to find something to munch on and maybe a good movie to pass the time until Josh got there. Half a box of cereal later and Netflix playing in the background; Tyler found himself at the mercy of his living room couch. He didn't mean to utterly pass out open mouth and all; but as soon as he rested his head on one of the armrests he was out for the count. His last coherent thought was how Josh would like this new cereal he found. 

 

 

     Airplanes suck. That was Josh's final opinion on the matter as he hurried off of the metal death trap filled to the brim with people who never learned that staring is rude. Did he have piercings? Yes. Did he have colorful tattoos? Yes. Did he wear punk rock clothing? Heck yeah! But he also has severe anxiety and doesn't like a bunch of judgmental eyes burning a hole in the back of his skull. Even the stewardess was giving him dirty looks during the flight. What a bunch of butts!  _"Whatever man. At least I'm almost to Tyler's place and then we can jam out like always while cracking jokes and binge watching Netflix!"_ he mused. To his delight the uber driver he ordered barley said two words to him save for "Hi" and "Bye". It may have been viewed as rude to anyone else but for Josh riding in a car with a complete stranger for forty five minutes was stressful enough. Josh sent a quick text to Tyler to let him know he was almost at his house. He got a little discouraged when he didn't get a response but he figured he was probably sleeping. This new album was so important to both of them; but Josh new how bad Tyler could be about getting wrapped up in his work. Fortunately Josh had a spare key to Tyler's place incase of emergencies or situations such as this; unfortunately his suspicions were confirmed when he walked in on a sleeping Tyler with cereal dust and crumbs littering his chest. A small frown formed on his face when he saw how skinny Tyler looked since he last saw him. _"What am I gonna do with you?"_ he thought. Josh turned off the TV and grabbed a small blanket to cover the sleeping man. He absent mindedly placed a quick kiss on his forehead and hurried off to his guest bedroom to unpack his things. "Sleep tight babyboy." he whispered.

     Josh busied himself around the house while Tyler laid passed out on the couch. Not to toot his own horn but Josh was pretty happy with how quite he was managing to be given the fact he was a loud drummer by heart. In his time at the house he had managed to unpack, pick up Tyler's room, start a load of laundry and put the dishes in the dishwasher all without waking his bandmate. That or... Tyler was just that exhausted; and he wouldn't put it passed him. With how busy Josh had gotten night came approaching fast and he decided he'd take a quick shower before he'd be forced to wake up his bestfriend and make him eat something other than dry cereal. There weren't any soaps in the guest bathroom so Josh used Tyler's shower instead; not like he would mind though. He turned on one of his Bluetooth speakers and put some songs on shuffle while he proceeded to air drum in the shower letting his mind wander off. 

    

     He couldn't tell what time it was when he got up but when he did Tyler was sure of two things. He had a crick in his neck from sleeping on the couch and he did not have a blanket on him when he fell asleep. Fell asleep... "Ah crap!" Tyler snapped his head to the side to look out the window and saw that it was pitch black outside. He snatched his phone from the coffee table and saw the clock read _8:30 pm_ and he had a text from Josh that said he was almost at his house earlier that morning. Well that explains the blanket around his body and the clean dishes stacked on the counter. Tyler proceeded to feel a warm love spread through him and simultaneous twist in his gut for sleeping in when his bestfriend and bandmate came all this way to see him. Especially now that it had been quite some time since their last encounter. Well no time like the present! Tyler creaked his way over to the guest room but stopped when he heard music coming from his bedroom. He shrugged and shuffled to his bedroom; following the music to the steam in his bathroom. As he got closer he realized the song was familiar in a personal way. It was one of their songs and Josh was full on jamming. What a goofball. Tyler was about to greet his bestfriend but he was caught off guard by a few things. First of all Josh was covered by just a towel, no big deal, he'd seen Josh's butt more times than he'd care to admit. It just happened while on tour sharing a room with a bunch of dudes. However the towel was draped rather low and was exposing a v-line trailing across his hip bones that was not there before followed by a developing six pack that was also not there before. Not to mention Josh's arms had gotten even bigger than he thought possible. Secondly... one of his hands clutched a hair brush as he used it as a microphone to belt out their lyrics with a passion Tyler was entranced by. It wasn't often Tyler got to hear Josh sing like he meant it; but something about him singing their music like that made his heart swell with overwhelming affection. So much so that Tyler didn't even realize he'd been standing there staring like a creeper until he felt Josh's arms encircle him in a deathly tight embrace. "Dude! You're finally awake! I've missed you so much man, how've you been?" Even though Tyler was the taller of the two by a few inches he could feel his body being lifted off the ground in the tight embrace. Woah... Yea Josh has definitely been working out.   

     "I've been alright man. I still see you don't know how to dry off all the way." Tyler teased as his brain kicked in to hug his bandmate back. "It's good to see you too!" Josh set him back down on the ground and turned to gather his shower supplies. "Old habits die hard; and you have no room to talk. When I first got here you had more soda and redbull cans than food in your fridge!" 

     Tyler rolled is eyes and shook his head, "Whatever dude. So you gonna explain how you got so ripped?" Josh laughed and Tyler couldn't help but notice the way his back muscles were swelling with his laughter. "I took up some boxing lessons a few weeks ago after I started that work out regiment I told you about. It's really helping me out. I feel pretty great and now I can hit my drums even harder for you and the clique!" Once again Tyler felt that pang at how dedicated Josh was to their music; and to be honest he thought Josh was joking about the whole regiment thing. But he was proven wrong in the best way possible. "You look great man! I don't think I've seen you so active in a while."

     Josh dried his hair out as they walked into Tyler's bedroom so he could change into some pj shorts. "Now let's get some semi decent food in you. I don't want to be rude but you look like crap!" He got no argument there. Tyler felt like crap and the mention of food made his stomach growl. "Come on and I'll make us a sandwich and we'll pick out a movie or something." Josh motioned for him to follow him to the kitchen. Tyler glanced a quick peak at his butt while he was at it.  _"Yep he really has been more active."_ he thought. "You sneak into my house, clean my messes, and now you're gonna feed me? I must've done something pretty great to deserve all this." Tyler stated. "Well you are the lead singer." They both cracked a smile at that. It was dumb that most people viewed the lead singer in a band as the soul and ignored anyone else. But in Tyler's eyes that was nothing more than a joke. He knew for a fact that he'd gotten were he was now because Josh was right there with him and vice versa. There was a small silence while Josh assembled two sandwiches and grabbed a bag of chips for them to tear into. When they got seated on Tyler's bed Josh tried to ask what he wanted to watch but all he got in response was a mouth full of bread and turkey. "Jeez you really were hungry." Josh just flipped to animal planet 'cause he knows Tyler likes to learn about animals. It looked like they were doing a documentary on cheetahs. "I bet cheetahs would make a sick pet." Tyler mouthed in between mouthfuls of sandwich. "I bet that food would taste better if you chewed it before you swallowed. Seriously dude you're gonna choke." Josh tried to look concerned but Tyler proceeded to stick his tonged out to show bits of chewed up food to prove a point. "You're sick." he said with a wrinkled nose in disgusted. Tyler just giggled and kept eating; though Josh did notice he slowed down. They sat and watched the documentary in silence so Tyler could finish his food and eat the other half of Josh's sandwich after ten minutes of puppy dog eyes. But he was happy to give it to Tyler if it meant he was getting some actual substance. 

     With diner finished the boys stretched out on the bed and talked for hours on end like they were sixteen again. They spoke about family and the future of this new album. How much they both missed lurking on twitter... But Josh was just working his way up to get Tyler to talk about the real reason he was here. "So how have you been Tyler, really?" Josh treaded his words carefully. He didn't want to bring up anything Tyler wasn't ready for but Josh needed to know how his bestfriend had been these past few weeks. "It's lonely and quite since... everything. I mostly just work on the next song to fill in the gaps but I'm stuck right now. Nothing is sticking. Nothing feels right... I'm glad you're here though. I've missed you." Tyler new this talk was coming and try as he would he couldn't keep the little pinpricks of water forming in his eyes from falling. "It gets harder to sleep at night without her here." Josh stretched his hand out to cover Tyler's in his own. He'll never get over how much it hurts to see Tyler like this. He's incredibly strong but when he finally let his walls down he crumbles like sand in the wind. It was all Josh could do but to hold him close and whisper sweet nothings into his ear. It had been a few months since Jenna had left but the hole that was left behind made Tyler confused and at times even angry. He had seen it coming and even sat down with her to have a long drawn out conversation about what they wanted to do in the future. Something changed in their relationship and in the end both decided it would be best to end it. It may be sad but Tyler went into the relationship knowing that sometimes sparks burnout; and there was nothing to be done. But it still shattered Tyler and didn't help with his abandonment issues. He new it was selfish to say it but he couldn't stop the words from flying out, "What am I gonna do if you leave me too?" Josh knew Tyler didn't believe he would actually leave him as a friend or the band; but he also knew how bad his intrusive thoughts were and saying just anything wasn't going to cut it. So he decided that action would do better than words. "I know it hurts a heck of a lot right now. I can't imagine how lonely you've been here in this house by yourself... Which is why I've made arrangements that I can stay here for the next two weeks with you if that's ok." Tyler's brain short circuited. "Wait... y-you what?" "Yea, I got a house sitter and everything for my place in L.A. so if you want I can hang here for a while and we can hang out like bestfriends... like the good old days." Tyler couldn't hold back the giggle at how cheesy his bandmate could be. "Yea. I'd like that." 

     So it was decided that Josh would stay for the next two weeks while they hammered out new songs for the album while also making time for themselves to hang out like they used to. _"God I'm so glad he's home."_ thought Tyler. Josh was about to untangle his arms from Tyler to head to bed but instead he felt Tyler's grip tighten. "Would you... um... would you stay with me tonight?" Tyler didn't know why he was blushing but part of him felt like child again asking to sleep with his parents when he had a nightmare. "I just don't want to be alone." Had it been anyone else Tyler would've died of the embarrassment he felt. It's not like it's the first time they've slept in the same bed; but something about saying it out loud as a request felt off. He was about to object when he felt Josh squeeze him even tighter than before as he buried his face in the crook of his neck. "Of course I'll stay with you Tyler. We can even make a blanket fort!" It really was good to have Josh home... 


	2. We're Goin Home

     Tyler wishes he could say that having his best friend there beside him that night made everything easier… Which it did, but fate seemed to have other ideas in mind for him that night. Tyler suddenly found himself in a musty old bathroom with no windows or doors. The mirror above the sink was shattered and the flickering light made pieces of broken glass in the drain twinkle like stars. There was a metallic smell in the air that made his stomach turn with nausea. Tyler’s gaze became fixated on the rusty bathtub in front of him. A moldy shower curtain was pulled out across it blocking his view of the inside of the tub. His blood immediately ran cold because he knew this place; he’d been here many times before. Every inch of his being was screaming at him not to pull back the curtain. But to his own dismay he could only watch as his right hand tugged ever so slowly to reveal what was inside… or who rather. Tyler was prepared to see a version of his own body frozen stiff with death in the tub. But tonight his demons were especially cruel to him as the body laying in the tub wasn’t him but his beloved Josh. His eyes were open and glazed over while his head hung back and his mouth gaped open like a fish. Two little crimson scabs were lined perfectly on each wrist. “Oh God, Josh!” Tyler tried to reach out for his dear friend but his hand froze when he saw it was clutching a razor blade. _“See what you’ve done?”_ That same raspy voice that’s haunted him all these years only increased with Tyler's please. “No! NO NO NO! Not him! Take me but not him! Anyone but him!” _“I didn’t take anything. You’re the one holding the blade.”_ Tyler could feel bile rising in his throat but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. “No… Josh. Joshie please wake up. Josh…”    

 

 

     Josh was stirred from his peaceful rest by his bandmate beside him calling his name. “Dude what’d you say?” His only response was a mangled sob and instantly Josh new what was going on. He quickly turned on the bedside lamp and shimmied himself from the sheets. He did his best to caress Tyler in his nightmarish state. He rubbed circles on his back and traced little lines while cooing into Tyler’s ear. Between his “It’s alright Ty.” and “I’m right here baby.” he could here Tyler begging “no” “not him” “josh please no”. Josh couldn’t imagine where his mind was right now but he new it was nowhere good. He would usually let Tyler fuss out his nightmares but the pleas were breaking Josh’s heart and he couldn’t stand it anymore. “Hey Ty… You gotta wake up baby. It’s just a dream I’m right here. No one’s gonna hurt you.” After a few more attempts to stir Tyler from his dream Josh finally saw his eyes snap wide open. “Josh?! Josh?”

     “Shh. I’m right here Ty. You’re safe with me. It was just a dream.” Josh continued his gentle circles over Tyler’s back as he helped him find his grounding. “Oh god Josh it was so real. I was.. You were.. it-I…” Josh started to slightly sway his body with Tyler as to gently rock their bodies back and forth. He might not be the best at words but this he knew and knew well. The rocking always helped Tyler clear up his head and had a calming affect on his friend. “I was in the bathroom again…” he finally choked out. Josh couldn't help the crease from forming between his eyebrows. He knew it was a bad nightmare but he didn’t realize how bad. Tyler had spoken of his recurring bathroom dream in the past. How he’d be forced to discover his own body in a rusty old tub having committed the one thing he promised never to do. All the while a voice would tantalize him in the background faceless and menacing. Only years latter did Tyler name it Blurryface so he could have a way to fight that awful demon. “It’s okay Ty; he can’t hurt you anymore. He can’t lay a hand on you.” Tyler held Josh’s shoulders in a near death grip while he sobbed into his chest. “J-josh it was you… You were the one I found. And I- can’t- I was the one holding the blade.” Tyler’s body shook with tears and pained screams at his reveal. Josh could already tell where Tyler’s poor little mind was going with this. He took both his hands and cupped Tyler’s face to make him look into his eyes. “Tyler Joseph you better listen to me. You have never hurt me like that and you never will. I love you and you love me; we’re like two peas in a pod or whatever… The point is no matter what your brain makes you think you better remember that I’ll always be right by your side dude. I’m not leaving you and you aren’t pushing me away.”  

     Tyler could barely see Josh’s eyes in the dim light with his blurred watery vision. But he knew what Josh meant was true. Still he needed to know, “Don’t you ever feel like I’m holding you back? That one day I’m gonna drag you down with me?” Josh used his thumbs to help wash away some left over streams on Tyler's face. He pulled him all the way into his lap and proceeded to continue the swaying motion while he held Tyler close to his heart. “Listen to the beat Tyler.” Josh pushed his head against his chest so Tyler could hear the little drum beat of his heart hammering behind his ribs. “Now put your hand on yours. You feel those little guys beatin’ away in there? That’s because we’re alive and we’re here … together. As long as your hearts beating there’s nowhere mine would rather be than right next to yours.” Tyler listened close to the ba-dum ba-dum of their hearts fluttering together. Like a quite little melody made just for them. “Do you think I weigh you down Tyler?” Tyler’s eyes snapped up to Josh’s in an instance, “Of course no-!” he fell silent as he saw a small smile form on Josh’s lips. Tyler was starting to understand what he meant. They both had their fair share of mental health issues but if Tyler didn’t feel like Josh was a burden then obviously Josh was in the same boat. Like always; two peas in a pod… or whatever.   

     “Thanks man. I’m sorry for freaking out so much, here let me ge-Oof!” Before Tyler could untangle himself from Josh he felt his body being pushed back down against his large frame. “Just shut up and lay here with me for a bit dude.” Tyler could feel heat reaching all the way to the tip of his ears. Why was he being so weird lately? First he can’t stop checking out his best friend's new muscles and now he can’t cuddle with him without forming a huge blush. _“Quit acting like this. He’s gonna notice something’s off!”_ It was unfortunate but ever since Jenna left it gave Tyler a lot of alone time in his head. He started assessing all his other relationships to see if it would help him figure out what went wrong with his and Jenna’s. But when his mind rolled around to Josh all he would ever feel was warmth and peace. Tyler loved Josh to the ends of the earth; but what exactly that love was is what Tyler was starting to question more and more. Usually he could be one hundred percent open with Josh about any and everything but this was something only he could figure out for now. If he told Josh about it now he’d probably just confuse both of them and make Josh uncomfortable. For now he was happy having his best friend back in his house for an extended amount of time. Speaking of... Tyler could hear faint little snores emanating from Josh. He looked up and sure enough Josh had passed back out even in their awkward position. Tyler breathed a smile and tucked his head back into the crook of Josh’s neck. _“I really missed having him here.”_ and with that Tyler joined Josh in some peaceful sleep.

 

     When morning finally came for Josh he stretched and reached his hands out to find a missing Tyler. He rolled over to the other side and checked the time on his phone; it was ten in the morning. Weird, he figured Tyler would be the one to sleep in late. With one final stretch and snap of his joints Josh rolled out of the mattress and shuffled to the kitchen. He saw a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch on the counter awaiting him on the counter with a sticky note stuck over the logo. **“Have as much as you want. I’ll be in the basement when you’re ready to jam. -Ty”** He poured out a generous amount into a bowl and put in just enough milk to make it float a little. Once he scarfed that down he let out a satisfied belch and walked to his room to grab his drumsticks and put on a t shirt. As he made his way down to the studio basement he could already hear Tyler strumming on his bass. The cords were crunchy but there was a little distortion in the mix that made each note last just a little bit longer than need be. _“Man I really missed this. I can’t wait to see the new stuff he’s come up with”_ Josh thought. 

 

     At long last it was time for a break; the boys had been at it nonstop all day. Josh had lost his shirt long ago as it had been drenched in sweat while Tyler's fingers and vocal cords were feeling a little raw from overuse. “Dude I smell gross I need a shower.” Josh shook his head like a dog and little sweat droplets went flying in every direction. “Aw sick man; I think you got some on me!” Tyler shrieked in mock disgust. “But seriously you do need a shower, go jump in and I’ll order us a pizza.” “Heck yeah! Don’t forget to get cheesy bread with it.” Tyler watched Josh march upstairs to get a days work of music washed off his skin. If he was being honest the recordings went better than he could’ve hoped for. It had been so long since he felt inspired but with his best friend back everything seemed to be falling into place again. Well... almost everything. Seeing Josh hit his drums harder than ever made his heart swell with pride like always but then there was that sort of itch he’d start feeling. The music was the same but the passion on Tyler’s side was misplaced or maybe it had found its place and Tyler was just having trouble identifying it? _“Whatever I’ll have to think about this later. I’ve got pizza to worry about.”_ His stomach gave a small growl in approval at the promise of food.

 

     Josh stepped into the steamy shower and this time he let his mind drift without the aid of music. If he was being honest it was racing a thousand miles a minute and he had a lot on his mind. He was overjoyed at being able to play with Tyler again. The new songs were getting better and better every day while this new world they were birthing into existence was become more concrete. But what got his mind racing more than any of it had nothing to do with the music and everything to do with Tyler. He played dumb and just kept playing his heart out on the drums but every now and again he’d catch Tyler staring at him. Not like the jerks on the airplane; but staring at him like he was trying to solve a puzzle. It had been a decent amount of time since their last encounter and given the recent events in Tyler’s life Josh had expected some form of a buffer going on. But the looks Tyler kept giving him were gonna drive him nuts. Usually on stuff like this Tyler just needed to be left alone to mull over a few thoughts for a bit but Josh had a feeling something was different. Whether it was good or bad is what Josh couldn’t place. _“I’ll give him a few days to figure it out but if he keeps staring at me like that I’m gonna have to say something.”_ not that he had a lot of room to talk though. When Tyler was particularly engrossed in matching up new lyrics Josh found himself assessing Tyler like he were a rare gemstone. Once Josh has made the secrete decision to stay with Tyler for longer than initially planned he found his mind buzzing with all sorts of things he wanted them to do together. He knew Tyler wouldn’t object to an extended stay and it was a way for Josh to make sure he really was okay after the breakup. But he also knew that deep down he just craved Tyler’s company; it was almost addicting to be around him. Maybe Tyler wasn’t the only one with emotional things to think about later that night.  

 

     The smell of pizza and cheesy bread filled the kitchen immediately and Tyler had finished two slices by the time Josh had made it out of the shower. He could see him leaving behind a trail of water as he walked to the pizza boxes. “About time dude. I thought I was gonna have to eat this by myself for minute.” Tyler was joking but he could see the challenge in Josh’s eyes. “If you eat my half of the pizza I’ll pour all your Redbulls down the drain.”

     “Nooo not my caffeine fix!” Tyler pretended to faint onto the couch behind him in the living room. “Scooch over pizza thief.” Tyler could feel his legs being knocked off the cushion so Josh could join him. “What’re you in the mood for?” Tyler flipped through Netflix until they settled on Thor Ragnarok. “I hope I’ll be as buff as Chris Hemsworth one day.” stated Josh. “You already look great man and Hemsworth can’t play the drums like you can.” Josh knew Tyler was just making conversation but that actually made him feel really nice. “Awe shucks. Well for the record I’d pick you as a best friend over Lokey any day.”

     “Jeez man really settin the bar low on that one.” Tyler teased him but the complement was appreciated nonetheless. After the movie ended and the pizza was demolished Tyler let the next movie autoplay without much thought. He stopped paying attention as he felt the drowsiness start to kick in. “Psst hey Ty? Do you wanna go to bed?” “Mmm” was the only response Tyler gave. Josh laughed and pushed himself off the couch “Alright dude let’s go to bed.” “M- too sleepy… carry me Joshie..” Tyler was half joking and fully did not expect to feel a pair of arms pick him up bridal style and proceed to carry him to the bedroom. _“Woah okay that’s new.”_ Tyler really was tired but he totally could’ve walked to bed. The fact that Josh did it so effortlessly was what shocked him the most. “T-thanks.” “Don’t mention it baby boy. Now get some sleep.” He watched Josh walk back to his room until the light was shut off. Now Tyler was left alone in his room with what just happened playing on repeat. Josh had carried him many times like that before and that nickname had been around for years. _“So why does my brain feel so fuzzy right now?”_ Tyler huffed and turned over in his bed to get more comfortable. _“What’s going on with me?”_  He reached up to touch his face only to find it burning red hot. _“Great now he can’t even use my nickname without my face turning scarlet… This might be harder to figure out than I thought.”_

     Josh crawled into his own bed and turned out the lights and try as he may sleep was not going to come anytime soon. There was no mistaking the blush that was creeping up his neck to his face. Holding his best friend like that felt really nice, like, more than usual. _“His face definitely turned red when I called him baby boy. But I’ve called him that a thousand times before. Why is it different now?”_ Neither of them fell asleep immediately that night. Both of them had too many unanswered questions and as always _a lot_ to think about.     


	3. I'll Morph To Someone Else

     The next morning Josh had found himself waking up with a headache from hell. His fingertips had a dull ache similar to the pins and needles one felt when their foot falls asleep. But the pain wasn’t going away so he knew he didn’t sleep on his arm wrong; and the feeling of his heart in his stomach was a dead give away. _“Oh wonderful…”_ Yep, today was going to be one of his panic days. He lazily rolled out of bed and got dressed in some shorts and a t shirt. After he slid on his running shoes he went to the kitchen to leave Tyler a note on the fridge. **“Went for a run. I’ll be back soon. -J”** He shoved his earbuds in and put his workout mix on shuffle. Actually walking out the front door took a good five minutes of arguing with his hands to turn the door knob. _“We’re going for a run so I can clear my mind whether you like it or not!”_ With the amount of time he spent talking to himself and arguing with his intrusive thoughts it would’ve been noon by the time he moved from his post. So he did something he knew would always help lift his spirits up. He took out his phone and changed his mix from work out to one of their albums. It was his dirty little secret but Josh loved listening to the sound of Tyler’s voice. It almost always worked to calm him down and he found his feet feeling less like cinder blocks. Before he knew it he was back on their hometown street getting his heart rate up in the best way possible. It was weird that something as simple as running made him feel so much better; but if it worked he was willing to keep doing it. _“I wonder if Tyler would wanna go on a run with me one morning?”_ He knew Tyler was athletic at one point but the thought of him running alongside him made him giggle a bit. _“He’d probably end up making a race out of it anyways.”_ He figured he’d been jogging for about a mile and decided he would turn around and start making his way back. Unfortunately as he did so there was an uneven slab of the sidewalk that jutted upwards. Josh didn’t notice it in time and when the tip of his foot made contact he tripped and felt his right knee and elbow scrape against the pavement. He caught himself with his left hand to keep his head from bouncing off the ground but now his left palm had a gruesome road rash. “... Ow.” he winced as he rolled onto his back and rocked himself forward to sit upright. Small streams of blood were trailing down his leg and arm. He was mostly worried about his hand though; drumming was gonna be a little painful for the next few days. “Alright let’s try that again.” He picked himself up off the ground and proceeded to jog back to Tyler’s place. _“I really hope the day gets better from here.”_

  


     Tyler could hear little birds chirping outside his bedroom window and opened the slits in his face to start his day. Rays of sunshine were coming through his blinds that made him want to screw his eyes back shut. He started to wiggle his toes to get his limbs to wake up and rolled his body over to one side. He checked his phone and it was eight in the morning; not bad for a Sunday. He sat upright and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. With one final yawn he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and proceeded to head towards the kitchen. When he went to grab some juice from the fridge he noticed a piece of paper stuck to the door. So Josh had gone out for a jog and Tyler had some time to himself for a bit. “I guess he really was serious about working out.” He reached inside the fridge for his juice and drank it straight from the jug; it tastes better that way. But when he moved his head to the side he caught a whiff of the smell under his arms, “Ok it’s shower time.” Tyler padded his way back to his bedroom and started getting undressed to wash the stank off. He was about to step into the shower when he heard a knock on his bedroom door. “Hey Tyler are you awake?”

     “Yeah just one sec.” Tyler turned the faucet to his shower off and slipped his boxers back on so he could open the door. What greeted him was a bloodied Josh with a sheepish smile rubbing the back of his head. “Good morning Ty.”

     “... Oh my God what happened to you?!” Tyler pulled him into the bathroom by the shirt and had him sit on the toilet seat while he fetched medical supplies from under the sink. “Well you see I was on my way back from my jog and this huge biker dude bumped into me and-”

     “So you tripped and fell?” Tyler interrupted him. “... Yeah I tripped and fell.” Josh responded. Tyler let out a sigh while he got a damp towel and started to wipe the blood trails off Josh’s arm and leg. “You and your two left feet.”

     “Hey you’ve fallen off the stage just as much as I have.”

     “Yea but I’m not the one with bits of concrete stuck in my skin right now.”

     Tyler poured some peroxide onto a cotton ball and dabbed the liquid onto Josh’s wounds. “Ouch! That stuff stings.” Tyler didn’t respond he was too focused on patching up his bandmate… and other things. Getting this close to Josh gave him ample view of his toned legs and biceps. _“Don’t blush! Don’t blush! Don’t blush!”_ Tyler’s fingers gently rubbed some Neosporin to the scrapes and he applied band aids to his knee and elbow. Luckily he had gauze too so he was able to wrap Josh’s hand up to keep it covered.  

     Josh could not tear his eyes away from Tyler as he bandaged him up. He was being so careful with his hands and he was so _close._ Josh had to fight back a jolt when Tyler placed a hand on his left thigh to steady himself while he used the other to apply the Neosporin to the wound. He started feeling lightheaded as Tyler’s thumbs smoothed the band aid over his skin so it would stick. _“He’s just tending to my wounds! Stop being weird!”_

     When Tyler had his hand all wrapped up he couldn’t help himself from leaning down to press his lips to the inside of Josh’s palm. “There all better.” he whispered. Josh almost let out a sigh and for some reason his voice came out gruff and low. “Thanks Ty… Imma go change. I’ll let you take a shower.” He bolted out of the room before Tyler could even respond. Though it’s not like he could form words anyways. _“I’ve never heard his voice sound like that before.”_ Tyler could feel the familiar heat on his face as his heart rate picked up. He turned to get into the shower in hopes to clear his mind with what just happened. The warm water helped ease his tense body but the heat on his face wouldn’t go away. _“Maybe if I turned the temperature down a bit… Ok that did nothing.”_ Tyler huffed in frustration at his body refusing to listen to him. But then that heat started to travel lower and pool. He quickly turned the shower water to ice cold because no way in hell was he about to do _that_ while thinking about _him._

     Josh shut the door to his guest room and locked it for good measure. _“What the heck was that about?”_ His mind was racing just as fast as his heart. He looked down at his palm where Tyler had put his lips and that spot was on fire. He’s kissed him before on the cheek or shoulder but that was just so _intimate_ and he was kneeling down and front of him _“Between my legs-”_ “No! Nope!” Josh verbally excused his own mind from where it was about to travel. He had to sit down, his mind was spinning and he felt like he was about to pass out. But it wasn’t like his panic attacks; he wanted him to do it again. It felt nice… He couldn’t keep his voice from betraying him cause he was just so close and so gentle. _“What’s goin on with me?”_ Josh tried to breath in through his nose and out through his mouth to settle his nerves down but his whole body was starting to heat up. He was gonna be in there for a while.

  


     It wasn’t until lunch time that either of them finally felt calm enough to come out of their respective rooms. That and food was a crucial necessity. “Dude I’m starving. Wanna go get Taco Bell?” Tyler immediately perked up at the mention of his favorite fast food. “Heck yea, let me grab my keys!” They both jumped in the car and Tyler sped down the street letting his mind focus on driving. Luckily a Taco Bell wasn’t far from his house and they made it back in no time with arm fulls of fake Mexican food.

     “Hey how’s your hand doin? You ok to carry all that?”

     “Yeah man I’m fine. It was just a few scrapes.”

     “Just checking, they looked kinda painful.”

     “Well it definitely didn’t feel good; but you patched me up so I’m all better now.” Tyler was glad Josh was too busy stuffing his face to notice the heat returning to his face. Okay so he still wasn’t completely over it but no big deal. He just had to act like it was no big deal because it wasn’t and he shouldn’t make one out of it. Besides he’s got Taco Bell to chow down on. Josh grabbed the remote and flipped the TV onto a random station for background noise. He loved Tyler to death but sometimes he really wished he’d close his mouth when he ate.

     With full stomachs and wrappers spread everywhere Josh helped Tyler clean up and they both decided they’d practice a few of their finished songs to be semi productive today. When he played his music Tyler could get completely lost in a song and let everything melt away if only for a moment. At least until they decided to play Morph so Josh could practice his solo. Josh’s shirt had yet again been tossed to the side and he was hitting every. Single. Frickin. Note. Josh knew Tyler had put this part in the song because he wanted the clique to admire him the way he does. So of course he was gonna put one hundred and ten percent into the solo; and of course Tyler was going to be so captivated by him because every time he played he hit his drums like it was the last time he’d get to touch them. Then half way through his hammering he locked eyes with Tyler and gave him a smile that would’ve made his knees buckle if it weren’t for the bench he was sitting on behind his keyboard.

     “Woo! Dude that solo is sick! The fans are gonna love it. I know I do!” Tyler’s heart dropped to his feet because Jesus Christ he was gonna kill him. “Y-yeah man. You played that perfectly.”

     “Think so? I could probably go harder next time… It’ll be better once my hands all healed up.” Josh swiveled in his chair to towel off his damp hair. His arms flexed with every movement and when he hung his head back to expose more of his neck Tyler wanted the earth to open up and swallow him whole. “If that’s all the songs we could head back up and put a movie on in your room.” Tyler agreed without hesitation. Anything to get out of that room and away from Josh even for just a moment. While Josh got cleaned up Tyler selected a movie for them to watch together and put on some pajama bottoms. He really needed to figure out what was going on with him and fast or he was gonna end up doing something stupid. Unbeknownst to Tyler, Josh had made up his mind to confront him about his behavior. Well not so much confront; just check up on him and make sure he was doing alright.

     A newly cleaned Josh slid under the covers next to Tyler and nestled into the comforter. “What movie did you pick out?”

     “I went with an animated movie; Big Hero Six.”

     “Good pick; but listen… Before we start the movie could we talk for a sec?”

_Damn…_ “Yeah sure, about what.” Tyler’s body tensed up and Josh could see it plain as day. “Are you doin okay Ty? I keep seein this look on your face like you’re thinkin bout somethin that’s been buggin you.” Josh grabbed Tyler’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I won’t force you to talk about anything you don’t want to. But just remember that you can talk to me about anything and if you need help just ask okay?” Tyler let out the breath that he’d been holding and looked down at their hands. How could he think that he could hide anything from Josh when he was being so obvious that something was bothering him. “I am thinking about some things right now but it’s not any bad stuff; and if I can’t figure it out I promise I’ll let you know.” Tyler was half lying but Josh looked satisfied with that answer and gave him a small hug. “Alright now let’s watch Baymax kick some butt!” Tyler giggled at his goofy friend but started the movie, “Let the feels begin.”

     Josh being so forward but still remaining respective of his privacy made Tyler feel a little less tense about the way he’d been acting. Yeah he was going through some weird stuff right now but they were still best friends and Tyler needed to remember that. So a little bit into the movie Tyler inched closer to Josh just to be nearer. But Josh must’ve noticed because he swung his arm around his shoulders and pulled him even closer. Now Tyler’s head was resting on his chest and Josh’s hand rested on his shoulder. “Comfy?” Tyler could only nod because he didn’t trust his voice not to betray him. _“Calm down. We cuddle like this all the time. It’s what we do don’t get weird.”_ Tyler tried to keep his body calm and focus on the movie and it was working until Josh absentmindedly started rubbing small circles with his fingertips over his shoulder. Against his own volition Tyler started to shake and had to bite his lip. “Are you cold?” Josh pulled him impossibly closer by the small of his back and continued his motions between his shoulder blades. Usually a back rub like this felt good but this _felt good_ and Tyler didn’t know what to do about it. He stopped shaking and just gave into the feeling of Josh’s hands on his body. His hands circled from between his shoulder blades and traced little lines lower and lower. Every now and then that hand would stop and Josh would use his other to trace his thumb in the small of his back. Running it up and down the dip stopping just above his waistband. Tyler would have to bite his lip to keep from sighing. But he couldn’t ask him to stop otherwise… Otherwise Tyler would have to tell him everything he’d been keeping in and he wasn’t ready for that. So he stayed like that throughout the rest of the movie and stayed as quiet as possible as still as possible. When the credits rolled Josh placed a gentle kiss on his head and wished him goodnight as he went to his own room to get some sleep. He left Tyler there, thankful he was gone, but with the burning desire of wanting more.

     He rolled over and his face was burning as hot as the rest of is body. Anywhere that Josh had put his hands was on fire and that heat was starting to pool further and further downward. Tyler was reminded of what he denied his body earlier that morning and wasn’t sure if he could do it again. Slowly he trailed his hand down his stomach and began palming himself through his pajamas. _“This can’t be happening. He wasn’t doing anything he wouldn’t usually do and yet…”_ Tyler sucked in a sharp breath and tried to think about anything but his best friend. Sadly nothing was working and he was only getting more frustrated by the second. He threw the covers off and stripped all the way down. He lay flat on his back and let his hands move where it felt best. His heat was building and he could tell he was getting close to what his body craved. Then his mind flashed to Josh earlier that day on the drums and the way he played his heart out and that smile he gave him and before he knew it his pleasure came crashing down on him. He had to bite his hand to stifle his moan because it was white hot and felt so damn _good_ . When he came down from his high he cleaned himself up and tucked himself away under the covers and immediately began to sob into his pillow. There was no denying it to himself now because he had just finished to the thought of Josh… his best friend. _“I think I’m falling for him…”_    


  



	4. Feed the Fire in My Bones

Morning came like a brick to the face for Tyler. All he wanted to do was crawl into the nearest hole and never come out. His skin crawled at the thought of having to face Josh today. He wasn’t sure what to do now that he had the undeniable realization that he was falling for his best friend. In retrospect it made sense to a sickening degree. Josh and Tyler got along at the best of times and were there for each other through and through. Ever since his arrival Josh had made all his dark thoughts dissipate little by little. The hole that Jenna left behind was starting to be filled and Tyler was terrified. He knew Josh wouldn’t feel the same way and losing their friendship would kill him; so he was completely lost with what to do. He had to get away. That’s all their was to it. He tried his best to get ready without making a sound so he could sneak out of the house. After all he did need groceries; it was the perfect alibi. To his disappointment Josh was already in the kitchen making himself a bowl of cereal.  _ “Damnit!”  _

“Good mornin’.” Josh greeted him through a mouthful of cereal and that stupid frickin smile. “Hey, I’m gonna run to the store. I’ll be back in a bit.” Before Josh could even swallow his bite and ask if he wanted him to tag along Tyler was shutting the door. A deep frown appeared on Josh’s face, “Bye I guess..?”

Tyler mentally kicked himself for that because he knew it was a rude thing to do but he had to get out of there as quick as possible. He stuck the key in his ignition and sped down the road knowing Josh was going to have questions for him later. For now he would do his grocery shopping and have mental conversations with himself so as to prepare for what might happen when he got home.  

Josh would be lying if he said that their interaction just now didn’t make him a little upset. Tyler had never shut him out like this before and the thought that Tyler didn’t think he could share whatever was bothering him with Josh made his heart ache.  _ “He promised me he’d come to me if he couldn’t figure it out by himself. I thought things were gonna get better but now…”  _ Josh could feel his chest constricting as the panic was seeping into his thoughts.  _ “Did I do something wrong?” _ He replayed the last few days on repeat in his mind trying to look for an indication that he may have upset Tyler. Nothing. There was nothing he could think of… Not unless Tyler was getting sick of his company and didn’t want him to stay for two weeks. Josh wanted to smack himself for thinking that. Of course Tyler wanted to be around him; they were best friends.  _ “So what’s going on with him?” _ Josh’s panic attack was getting worse by the minute so he walked to his bedroom and grabbed his phone to put on some music. Selfish as it was he played their songs and listening to Tyler’s voice was making him feel somewhat better. But now he was over analyzing everything about Tyler’s behavior and his own actions thus far. He still felt guilty for having those indecent thoughts about Tyler when he was patching up his scrapes from the fall.  _ “But there’s no way he picked up on that right?”  _ Maybe instead of wanting Tyler to divulge his emotions he needed to do some assessment on his own. Tyler and him have been friends for years and ever since the beginning they were inseparable. Tyler was the first person that Josh felt truly comfortable enough to talk about his demons with; and slowly over the years Tyler would share his in turn. Saying they were close was an understatement at this point. Josh knew Tyler like the back of his hand and vice versa. But Josh could always feel himself wanting more. He wanted to be closer to Tyler and share his company more often than not. So when Tyler pushed him away like that it  _ hurt  _ unbearably so. When Tyler was in pain so was Josh; and when he was happy Josh could feel the joy turn into his own. Whenever they would share a hug or hold hands Josh found himself never wanting to let go.  _ “I love him.” _ That Josh could say without hesitation. He loved Tyler with his whole being. Hell they had each other's names forever etched into their skin. Even now hearing Tyler’s broken voice singing in the background from his speaker he felt calm and… love. Love. Josh bolted out of his room and flung the bathroom door open. The contents of his breakfast projected into the toilet and his body started to shake like a leaf. After a few moments of dry heaving he curled in on himself sobbing onto the bathroom floor. Love. He was in love with Tyler.  

  
  


Tyler had only been gone for a little over an hour but he knew he could only make shopping for groceries last so long. With a defeated sigh he got back into his car and proceeded to head home with a heavy heart.  _ “I have no idea what to say to him.”  _ All that time he had to make himself come up with a plan turned out to be useless. Every idea, every excuse, was either too fake or too rude. Tyler didn’t want to hurt Josh but how could he tell him he was falling for him and not wreck their friendship. As Tyler pulled into the driveway he could feel is guts tangle and knot. Carrying a few bags he unlocked the door and expected a mildly upset Josh waiting for him. Instead he was greeted with silence. He didn’t like that. Something was wrong. Tyler dropped his groceries on the floor and bolted to Josh’s room. His blood ran ice cold when he heard sobbing coming from the guest bathroom. Tyler opened up the door to find Josh in a crumpled heap sobbing on the floor. “Josh! Josh what happened?” Tyler dropped to his knees and started rubbing his arms and held his hand. He hasn’t seen him have an attack this bad since the end of their Bluryface tour. “T-tyler?” was all Josh could choke out. “I’m right here Joshie. I’m right here. I need you to sit upright for me okay? Can you do that for me?” Tyler helped left his bandmate so he could sit up against the tub. “J, I need you to breath with me. Come on, in through your nose… and out through your mouth. You’re doing great.” They just stayed together for a moment so Tyler could help Josh even out his breath. “Tell me what you’re feeling J.”  

“M-my chest hur-ts.” Josh kept rubbing his hand over the spot where his heart lie. Tyler could feel his chest constrict with him. “Let’s get you in bed.” Tyler heaved Josh off the floor and help him walk to his bed. Josh’s tears were streaking in every direction on his face and his eyelids were swollen and red. “It’s ok Joshie. I’m right here. You can let go.” Tyler rubbed his back while Josh continued to let out a few more mangled sobs. At some point Josh must’ve fallen asleep from exhaustion because Tyler began hearing faint snores from his broken friend. Tyler hesitated at first but he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to Josh’s forehead and turned out the light. “Get some rest J.”

When Tyler shut the door to his own bedroom he slid down the frame and let out an exhausted sigh. He felt like the world’s worst person right now because his best friend was having a panic attack and he had left him alone because he didn’t know how to handle his own emotions.  _ “What is wrong with me?” _ Sick of locking himself away he opened his bedroom door and headed towards the studio downstairs. He had no idea how long Josh would be passed out so he decided he could at least be productive during that time. 

 

Josh felt his whole body ache when he finally came to. The rancid taste in his mouth made him want to gag all over again so he rolled out of bed to go brush his teeth. His head was pounding and when he looked at himself in the mirror he looked like he had a hangover from hell. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy so he did his best not to touch the raw skin. Beneath his feet he could feel a dull thump. “Tyler must be in the studio…” Josh went back to his bedroom and grabbed his drumsticks. A jam session is exactly what he needed right now.

     Tyler heard the studio door open and looked up from his keyboard. A visible frown formed on his face when he saw how trashed Josh looked. “Hey man glad to see you’re awake.” Tyler forced a smile and Josh gave a small nod in return. “Thanks for helping me earlier. That probably wasn’t fun to come home to…” Josh hung his head low as he marched to his drums. “Don’t stress about it man. I’m just glad your better… Wanna play a few songs together?” Tyler didn’t want to think about how hard that was going to be, but seeing Josh perk up at the mention of jamming together… Well he was just gonna have to suffer through it. For him. 

     This was it. This was all Josh needed in his life. His drums and Tyler and their music. The moment they started playing it was like everything else disappeared. Nothing else mattered. Not his sickening emotions. Not the way Tyler had been making him feel. He could leave it all behind if it meant they never got to stop doing what they loved together. So Josh decided he would do just that. He’d leave behind these weird emotions and live with Tyler as his best friend and bandmate and he would be happy. Because in the end nothing else really mattered. Tyler on the other hand was finding it difficult to remember the words to his own songs. Having watched Josh in a crumbled mess on the floor a little while ago blossom into a hard hitting fearless drummer was mesmerizing to witness. He was beautiful; and Tyler was slipping further into his own feelings. After about the third or fourth song Tyler couldn’t hit his keys correctly on the piano and he had to cut the record short. “Hey man everything okay?” Josh looked to his bandmate with concern written plain on his face. Tyler just blurted out the first thing that came to mind, “Yeah I’m just gonna get a drink.” and he immediately hopped from his seat and ran upstairs to the kitchen. Josh couldn’t stand it anymore and he chased after him. Tyler reached for a glass and filled it to the brim from the tap and chugged it down in one go. Then he immediately went to fill another glass behind it. He was about to down that one too till he heard Josh coming up behind him. 

     “Dude what’s going on?” Josh looked concerned but the agitation in his voice could be heard. 

     “What do you mean?” Tyler was about to take another sip but Josh snatched the glass from his hand and set it on the counter.

     “Enough games Tyler. Something is bothering you and I can see it plain as day.” Josh went to grab Tyler’s hand but he jerked back as if he’d been burned. “Don’t touch me!” As soon as the words left his mouth Tyle regretted it. Pain and hurt flashed across Josh’s face and Tyler wanted to hit himself. “What the heck is going on Tyler? First you won’t stop giving me these weird looks, then you start avoiding me, and now I can’t even touch my best friend. Tyer I don’t understand. Did I… Did I do something  _ wrong _ ?”

     Tyler heard the break in Josh’s voice and saw tears starting to form in his eyes. “Cause whatever I did I’m sorry Ty. I’m sorry.” The man before him looked so defeated and all Tyler could do was stand there with a lump stuck in his throat. His feet seemed to have made up his mind for him because before he knew it he was embracing Josh in a bone crushing hug. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry , I’m sorry!” Josh was confused but he held his friend close and waited for him to continue. “You haven't done anything wrong. It’s me, it’s all me. Somethin’s goin on with me Josh and I’m so scared right now. I don’t know what to do.” Tyler sobbed into Josh’s shoulder while Josh rubbed his back. “Shh Ty it’s okay. We’ll get through it together cause I’ll be right there with you.” They stayed like that for a few minutes before Tyler could look him in the eyes. He loved him. He loved him so much it hurt; but he still couldn’t get the words out because he was terrified. “It’s okay Tyler I’m not gonna force it out of you. Not tonight. Let’s just get some rest for now okay. We’ve both had a rough day.” Tyler could only nod as he let Josh lead him to his bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed under the covers. Josh wished him sweet dreams and was about to turn to leave when he felt Tyler grab his wrist. “Do you… want me to stay?” Tyler couldn’t look him in the eyes but gave him a nod.  _ “What am I doing?”  _ he mentally cursed himself. Josh agreed and got down to his boxers too and slid in next to Tyler. Almost instantly Tyler clutched onto him. Josh gave a small laugh with how indecisive his friend could be and let out an exhausted sigh. “Get some sleep Ty.” Tyler nestled his face into Josh’s neck and did just that. 

  
  


     Josh must’ve fallen asleep not long after because when he woke up it was pitch black outside and Tyler was practically laying on top of him. Their legs were tangled together so trying to move would be pointless. Josh was about to shut his eyes and give back into sleep when he heard a small whimper escape his bandmate. His body was starting to twitch and Josh was worried he might be having another nightmare. He began rubbing small circles on the small of his back and whisper calming words in his ear.

     Tyler was in what looked like his bedroom but it was too dark and all he could see was a few feet in front of his matress. It felt like his whole body was on fire. The lower part of his back was tingling and he could here Josh’s voice in the distance.  _ “Shh it’s okay baby…”  _ Tyler could feel his body heat up even more as it began to pool between his legs. A small whine forced its way from his throat. He could feel a pair of invisible hands begin to caress his body and he let his head hang back.  _ “Don’t worry Ty. I’m right here.”  _ Tyler tried to keep from making noise but he couldn’t keep a moan from making its way out. 

     Josh’s hand froze immediately because Tyler just  _ moaned  _ it there was no denying it. In fact he could feel Tyler began to squirm against him and Josh’s heart rate plummeted.  _ “Oh no, this is bad. This is really bad.” _

     Tyler’s body was reacting in the best of ways to whatever this feeling was but he couldn’t hear Josh’s voice anymore and he was getting frustrated. “J-Josh?”

     Josh was going to try and edge himself from under Tyler’s body but his grip would not let up.  _ “Ah crap this is bad!”  _ “J-Josh?” He froze. Tyler just moaned his name. Tyler just moaned  _ his  _ name. Josh could feel his heart beating impossibly fast as Tyler moved his hips against Josh’s leg. “A-ah, Joshie?” That sound went straight to his core and Josh’s body was heating up. Josh didn’t think this could get much worse until he felt something stiff poking him in the leg. He didn’t have much of a choice left and he had to stir Tyler from his dream.  

     “Tyler… Tyler…” Satisfied with hearing his voice again Tyer let his head hang back and enjoyed the feeling of the hands working on pleasuring him. “Ah, J-Josh please..!” 

     Josh was gonna lose his goddamn if Tyler didn’t wake up soon. Not only was he hard and shamelessly rutting against Josh’s leg but he was saying his name like it was all he knew. He was begging him for something and Josh felt like his brain was going to implode. “Ty come on you gotta wake up.” Josh resorted to shaking his shoulder to try and jostle him awake.  _ “God if he doesn’t stop I don’t know if I’ll…”  _ Josh had to bite his lip to keep a growl from forming. Tyler’s rutting had moved from his leg and closer to the center of his crotch and Josh’s head was spinning. He didn’t know what else to do so he flipped Tyler over with all his strength and pinned his arms to the mattress. “Tyler wake up!”  

     Tyler’s eyes snapped open and at first he was confused. One moment his body was feeling amazing and the next he could see Josh was hovering over him on the bed and he couldn’t move his arms. He looked to the side and saw Josh had his arms pinned beside his head. “What the hell man?” Tyler snapped his back up to look at Josh and tried to make sense of the accusation. “What’s going on?” Tyler tried to move his arms but Josh wasn’t having it. “What’s going on? What’s going on is I thought you were having a nightmare so I went to comfort you but then you started rutting against my leg!” Tyler’s heart stopped and suddenly everything clicked. “Oh… Oh no.” Tears started to well up in Tyler’s eyes and he couldn’t look at Josh. “Tell my what’s goin on with you!”  

     “I don’t know!” Tyler spat back. He didn’t like this. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. Why couldn’t he just keep his emotions to himself.

     “You said my name…” Josh’s voice came out low and gruff like he was fighting to stay calm. He must’ve been angry with him and he should be. Tyler was disgusting. 

     “I’m in love with you okay?!” Tyler blurted out the words and braced himself for the worst. Josh remained quite for what felt like eternity until he finally spoke, “How long?”

     “W-what?” Tyler was confused. 

     “How long have you been hiding this from me?” Josh’s voice was getting even lower in pitch. Tyler chanced it and looked him in the eyes and he had to fight back a whimper. Josh’s eyelids hung low and his chest heaved with every breath. The grip on his wrists were almost tight enough to leave a bruises. He had him trapped and there was no way out. 

     “Since you first arrived. I mean… I think I’ve loved for a while now but I’ve only just now started realizing it.” Tyler searched Josh’s facial features for the smallest hint at what he was feeling. 

     Finally everything was starting to make since to Josh. Tyler’s cold and distant behavior, his longing looks, the constant blushing… He loved him like Josh loved him… Once that piece of information stuck to his brain it was the final break in his resolve. He moved one of his hands from Tyler’s wrist and trailed it along his arm, up his neck, and caressed his cheek. Tyler could only watch terrified of what Josh was going to say or do. 

     “Me too.” 

 

 


End file.
